Coming soon to your hometown: federal government training to help couples develop interpersonal skills that sustain "healthy marriages."

Ooh... I can't wait! Sara and I have really been struggling lately. But now that help is on the way from Washington, I'm sure everything will turn around! I really struggle with my interpersonal skills, but it's nothing that a little government instruction can't solve!

Maybe they'll even set up a website. Sort of like Ready.gov, but Marriage.gov instead.

In addition to helpful nuggets like "If a family member becomes sick, it is important to be suspicious," we'll get things maybe like "Start talking from hate, but don't stop talking until it's from hurt."