Jean Van de Velde is the Bill Buckner of golf. Long after he is gone, Van de Velde will be remembered for one and only one thing: the most spectacular collapse in the history of golf. His name has become an adjective - "vandeveldian" - used by golf commentators to describe epic chokery.

To lose all power of self-definition is a piteous fate. No matter how you start the conversation, it always ends the same way. You know your efforts will be futile, and yet you can't help but try. Your ploys inevitably grow more outlandish; madness ensues.

Van de Velde's latest gambit: casting himself as a retrograde gender warrior. In order to protest the British Open's decision to allow women to qualify, he plans to enter the Women's Open.

If a different golfer had made the same argument, he might have drawn some support. Van de Velde draws only derision and laughter.