So, Mike DiMauro, when you next write about, say, a UConn male alum, will your article open like this?

For some reason, you are reading this. And not looking at the accompanying photos. Are you mad? Maybe you should stop reading. And gaze at the cover shot. It really is worth a thousand words, among which could be “hubba, hubba,” “va va va va voom,” “holy stimulus packages” or perhaps, “hottie, hott, hott.”

That's Emeka Okafor. No. 50 of the Charlotte Hornets.